Most parents felt extroversion was necessary for their children to learn to succeed in the “real world.”. In this view, what some might see as hucksterism is the ultimate in leadership. Sometimes, when people do something because they were carried away by the most vocal person in a group, they end up wondering later, “What were we thinking?” The U.S. Army has a metaphor for the phenomenon: “taking the bus to Abilene.” It works like this: A group is sitting around on a porch in Texas feeling bored and someone says, “Why don’t we go to Abilene?” They all go, but when they get there, someone else says, “You know, I didn’t really want to do this.” Others admit, “I didn’t either—I thought you wanted to.” In the Army, whenever people are unthinkingly jumping on a bandwagon, anyone can put the brakes on the conversation by saying, ”I think we’re getting on the bus to Abilene.”. Click Get Books and find your favorite books in the online library. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The inferiority complex soon became a pat explanation for many problems in life. Introverts are generally more sensitive to stimuli and threats, are more sensitive and get overwhelmed more easily Accept that it’s his style to be cautious and examine a situation before getting involved. Click here to download the “Quiet” book summary and infographic. According to one theory, people with certain inherited traits tend to seek out experiences that reinforce them. In college, introversion is a more accurate predictor of academic performance than is cognitive ability. Later in life, these children were less likely to cheat and break rules; they also had stronger moral traits such as empathy and had fewer behavior problems. But what gives introverts a creative edge? Once you understand your preference levels for stimulation, you can seek out environments that work best for you or try to tailor your environment—in other words, look for your “sweet spot” where you’re optimally stimulated. Use online brainstorming. She volunteered to visit her sister on Friday nights as a compromise, but he doesn’t want to host the dinners by himself. In fact, they claimed, many successful people, including Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, and Thomas Edison, once had inferiority complexes. One of the reasons that this topic has been so widespread is due to a TED talk delivered by author Susan Cain called “The Power of Introverts.” If you haven’t seen it yet, watch below: This subject is more than just an interesting look into psychology. Looking back at the 2008 financial crisis where financial institutions made risky loans, some analysts contended a major cause was that aggressive risk-takers dominated the decision-making process and pushed more cautious people aside. For instance, an introvert may spend much of a weekend at home reading, then realize she’s starting to feel understimulated and call a friend to go out for lunch. Having benefited from the talents of their followers, they are then likely to motivate them to be even more proactive. Still, acting out of character takes a mental and emotional toll. The researchers measured such things as eye contact, confident posture, and smiling. In Asian culture, talk is for communicating necessary information; being quiet is a sign of thoughtfulness. In the exercise, called the Subarctic Survival Situation, students imagine being survivors of a plane crash in the arctic. According to Dorn, the extroverted traders she works with are more likely to get carried away by potential rewards, while introverts heed warning signals and are more able to control their emotions. : Introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers. This may be true of some introverts, but most are as friendly as anyone. I am such a slow reader and this book has been patiently waiting on my shelf. Instead of having employees present new ideas to a panel of judges, the company solicits ideas via an online “idea market,” where the focus is on substance. But the temperament you were born doesn’t necessarily dictate what you do in every situation. The more someone talks, the more attention he draws from the group and the more influential he becomes as the discussion progresses. However, both introverted and extroverted parents can be a good fit for an introverted child by being accepting and learning to see the world from the child’s perspective. Discover how to unlock the power of introversion! --Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness ... First Chapter … Another study found that sensitive people reacted particularly strongly to photos of accidents, pollution, and people who were injured, scarred, or experiencing strong emotions. Shared intelligence and creativity produced resources such as Wikipedia, the open-source operating system Linux, and the grassroots political organization Anyone else with introvert tendencies is suspect. Be a role model for how to meet new people by being calm and friendly when greeting strangers. In what kind of work environment are you most productive? According to his “free trait theory,” we’re born with certain traits like introversion, but we can act out of character when pursuing “core personal projects” or goals that matter deeply to us. Psychologist Brian Little argues that it’s worth it to act out of character in order to pursue “core personal projects” or goals that matter deeply to you. For example, an introvert can learn and practice skills to be more comfortable interacting socially, while an extrovert can learn to slow down and be more reflective by cultivating friendships with introverts. However, that experience can turn to overstimulation if other friends join them. Click here for more resources and free tips! Discuss them beforehand and walk through them if possible—for instance, by walking a child through a new school when it’s not busy. Whether they’re extroverted or introverted themselves, parents may fear an introverted child won’t be able to function in society without changing. Because they stop and reassess, introverts are better able to learn from setbacks or mistakes and to foresee future problems. Having a “good personality” became paramount. Adults are chided for being “in their head” too much, or they’re seen as disengaged at work when they want to think rather than react off the cuff. A big difference between introverts and extroverts is how they view potential rewards or benefits they might get from taking certain actions. Cain argues for a balance in society, school, and work that lets introverts be true to themselves and where the two personality types complement each other. Extroverts raise their voices and become emotional, especially as their partners seem to withdraw. Parents and teachers urge children to “come out of their shell” and be more sociable and to participate more in class. Asians see themselves as part of a larger entity, whether a family, community, or company. OTHER DETAILS IN THE BOOK TO LOOK OUT FOR This book is packed with anecdotes, examples, and resources including: • Details of Cain’s research and personal meetings with experts, researchers, leaders, professionals and people at her talks; • Relevant research and studies on introversion/extroversion; • A comparison of Americans’ obsession with extroversion, compared with the quiet persistence valued by Asians; • Examples, stories and case studies involving relationships, business, finance, education etc., and famous people such as Dale Carnegie, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Ghandi, Moses, Steve Wozniak, Warren Buffett, Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt; and • Simple self-assessment tools. Help him role-play how to behave in various situations. Parents and teachers urge children to “come out of their shell” and be more sociable and to participate more in class. In contrast, “low” self-monitors are less sensitive to external cues and are instead guided internally by their interests and motivations. The less reactive you are, the thinner and cooler (less sensitive) your skin is. Both introverts and extroverts can stretch beyond their comfort zones when it’s to their advantage, particularly to further a career. In the Emily-Greg example, the more she backs away, the angrier he gets. According to a study of the U.S., Australia, and the U.K., many of the earliest computer developers were introverts who worked alone but contributed to the greater good. The amygdala in our brain scans our environment and tells the body how to respond. In contrast, Western culture celebrates the individual—everyone is free to express themselves and follow their destinies.